What is a perfect person?

I grew up in a household where perfection was expected. It drove me to hide the real me from the important people in my life. I learned to put on a mask to please those around me. I put on a different mask with my first serious girlfriend too. The second mask felt better but it still wasn’t me. In high school and college I regularly drank too much. I mostly drank on the weekends but I always overdrank. And the habit was born.

I snuck alcohol into classes sometimes. Years later, I poured vodka into my QT drink in the parking lot and went to my sons’ little league baseball games and many school concerts. I found the same technique worked at the office as well. To this day I don’t know if anyone knew but I’m pretty sure it got me fired once.

I hid alcohol from my wife. I lied about the number of drinks I had. About age 5, my youngest son would ask me if my drink was bourbon or Coke before he had a sip. I thought it was cute to have my children make me drinks. I had problems man, but I couldn’t see past the next drink.

The point to all this is that there is no perfect day. There is no perfect person or perfect way to be. We are all wonderfully different so even if I managed to obtain “perfection”, it wouldn’t be perfect for most people. Even more importantly, I would not be me and that isn’t sustainable nor happy. That is part of why I overdrank; I was trying to reconcile the masked persona I was putting forward with the real me. Those two personas are things which cannot exist together.  

I love this picture because looking off the back of a boat across the ocean s one of my happy places. It signifies vacation, peacefulness, and joy to me. To a friend of mine, it makes him think of extreme seasickness. So if there isn’t even a picture we can agree on as perfect, how can the be a perfect day, person or anything really?  Do one thing today that isn’t focused on alcohol that you find pleasant. If you can’t think of anything, that’s ok; I couldn’t either at first. Let’s work together and we will get there.

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